Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
