He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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