You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
