I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize