I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm going to jail i love you
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
