i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
