when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
