the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
