She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
