Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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