The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
