I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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