just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
