Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
