So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize