honey bunches of taint.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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