dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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