So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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