Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
