i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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