Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
