I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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