i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
