i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
