Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
