Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
