And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
