he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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