Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
