Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
