Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
A bitchslap is in order.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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