Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
