apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
