i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
