used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
