Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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