After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize