no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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