it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
