Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
