She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize