sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
