I feel like I'm in dance class right now
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize