With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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