...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it because I queefed?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
