Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
