at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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