drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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