1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i already hear my dad disowning me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
