My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
