Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
