you lied. pity sex is amazing.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
