She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
