She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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