we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
whose parrot is this?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
