I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Someone signed my nipple.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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