Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize