its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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