marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is Oprah even human
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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