He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
