my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she smelled like a LAN party
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
