i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
This is the high leading the old right now
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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