She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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