how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Mom said you looked used
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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