Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
