last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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