So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love having hate sex.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
