Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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