Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
