Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His nipple licking is glorious
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