i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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