you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize