he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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