Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
