Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
