She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize