Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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