dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
